solomon's surprise

In Mexico they call it “Montezuma’s Revenge.” In Egypt we called it the “King Tut Two Step.” Yesterday, we experienced what I am calling “Solomon’s Surprise.”

After lunch our class was on a field trip to a museum next to the Western Wall of the old Temple Mount. It must have been Israeli Army field-trip day, because the place was packed with fresh out of high school soldiers going through the exhibits in groups. After we had been there about an hour Jenn said she didn’t feel good and that she wanted to go back to the hotel.

We got about five minutes past the hotel, in the rain and the cold, and suddenly Jenn headed for some bushes and lost her lunch. Noticing that we were in the Jewish quarter, and in the shadow of the Wall, I was afraid someone would shout, “Unclean!”

We sat on the steps a while, and then tried to move on. We would walk a few minutes, then sit down and repeat the process. It was rather exhausting for Jenn because not one road in the Old City if flat, and we seemed to be constantly going uphill. After our third “vomit-stop” I realized we were lost. I am a directional nightmare, but Jenn is a walking compass. However, at this point the compass had been keeping her head in a plastic grocery bag… so we were lost.

I asked the kind man with the machine gun how to get the Jafa Gate. He pointed one way and walked off. We went that way till the next wave, and I stepped into a shop to ask again. The three men in yarmulkes wouldn’t even look up at me, as if they had practiced synchronized ignoring. I was getting pissed. I went back outside to sit next to Jenn on the steps when a very old man walked up to us, and in the classic Jewish accent said, “Do you need help?” His name was Moshe, and he gave us directions. They didn’t work.

Finally, we were able to get a cab. While Jenn continued to fill another grocery bag (her volume is amazing) the driver kept hounding me that if I really loved my wife I would take her to the hospital and not the hotel. After driving just a shade over one mile, he charged us $8 for the cab ride. I hate being a tourist.

I got Jenn up to the room and in bed, and not five minutes later I got the “surprise.” Turns out over 2/3 of our group of 48 got it, too. From what I hear, they left the museum and started throwing up in trash cans and bushes all over the Old City. So everything was canceled today so we could all rest up. I haven’t been over there yet, but I hear the hallways and bathrooms at the dorms on campus are, well… unclean.

So with a “technicolor yawn” our first week in Jerusalem is done. I had hoped to post some reflections and pictures during this time, but our schedule at the school is exhausting. Because we lose sunlight around 4:30 in the afternoon we are usually out the door and on the bus by 7:00 in the morning. We spend most of the day hiking (and nothing is flat in this country) through the city and the outlying hills. Then it is back to the hotel, dinner, homework and in bed by 9:00. So the blogs have been sparse, but stay tuned.

Until then, salam, shalom, peace.